Should I Fast?

We started a new topic this month at our church and we're talking about "Losing My Religion." There are a lot of things that I think people, both believers and non-believers alike, can misunderstand about some of the things in the Bible.  My hope over the next few weeks is to shed light on some of these issues. So to be warned, if you were at church Sunday then you've already heard what I'm talking about here but I wanted to share it anyway.  The first topic we are hitting is about Prayer & Fasting. I know a lot of churches, ours included, will be starting this year out with 21 days of Prayer & Fasting. To be honest this practice was something I saw demonstrated by my father growing up but not really something I heard talked about a whole lot. I studied it on my own in my 20's and started implementing it in my personal walk. It wasn't until I joined a church staff about 7 years ago that I ever participated in a "corporate" or church wide time of Prayer & Fasting.  It has had a profound impact on my life. This year I find myself in the position of Lead Pastor at a church and wanting desperately for our people to take part in this act of seeking God to begin their year. The more I thought about how to present it to people though, the more I realized the challenge of leading people to understand the difference between taking part in these 21 days as a "relational" act instead of a "religious" act. As you read the bible and study the act of fasting from the Old Testament to the New Testament you see how this act of humbleness before God preceded some of the greatest acts of God. It also outlines the detriment of participating in a "religious" fast versus a fast implemented from a desire for more of God.  I had so much content I decided to take it easy on my church and only focus on the side of "should I fast" this week and approach the right and wrong attitudes of fasting next week.  So here is a glimpse into how I answer the question..."Should I fast?"

What is fasting?
I think the best way to answer that is to explain first what it is not. Fasting is not simply going without food for a period of time. That's called dieting or perhaps starving yourself.  There are a number of people that "fast" for health reasons and there are actually health benefits that come with fasting. But if you are simply going without food and not coupling it with seeking God, then you are just dieting.  It's not giving up a habit. I've heard people say they are going to give up TV, Social Media and other things for their 21 day fast. While that's probably a good idea to rid yourself of those distractions, make no mistake that's not fasting. The purpose of a fast is to refrain from food or particular foods for a period of time for the purpose of seeking God at a deeper level. Fasting stirs a hunger in your spirit that goes deeper than the temporary hunger you experience in your flesh. And when you hunger for God, He will fill you.  Throughout the Bible the idea of our desire for God is compared to a desire for food or water. I think that's what Jesus meant when He made this statement in the Beatitudes:

Matthew 5:6 (NKJV) - ⁶  Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, For they shall be filled. 

Where is fasting in the Bible?
In order to ensure that this practice is still viable for our lives today and not just some religious act then we definitely need to see what the Bible says about fasting. This will also show us outcomes of fasting and hopefully show I'm not just some crazy religious nut job.  There are too many examples to speak about here but let me hit some highlights.  In Exodus 34 Moses spent 40 days on a mountaintop in the presence of God while fasting.  The results, among other things, were him returning with the 10 Commandments and his face shining so bright with the glory of God that the people were in awe.  In the book of Esther, a Jewish girl finds herself Queen. A man with the King's ear strikes out to have the Jews annihilated. Esther finds out and is in a position to do something about it but before she makes her move she calls the entire Jewish people to a 3 day fast to pray for God's favour. The result is God exposing the enemy and defending His people. 1 Samuel 1:7 talks about a broken Hannah desperately seeking God for a child. It says that she "wept and did not eat" while crying out to God and a short time later Samuel was born.  You'll find stories of fasting by Judah, Ezra, the city of Ninevah, Nehemiah, David and Anna.  The most significant example of fasting came from Jesus Himself.

Matthew 4:1-2 (NKJV) ¹  Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. ²  And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry.

Read the context of this story.  Jesus came and was baptized and then immediately departed to spend 40 days in prayer and fasting to prepare Himself for the ministry that was about to take place. If Jesus felt the need to prepare Himself for these next 3 years or so of His life and ministry, why wouldn't we also need to take part in this act.

Do we still need to do it today? 

It sounds an awful lot like some religious rule.

Matthew chapter 6 is right in the heart of Jesus first public teaching. The Sermon on the Mount, given right after returning from the 40 days of Prayer and Fasting mentioned above.  In this chapter, Jesus lays out a 3-fold expectation to His followers.

• Verse 2 says "When you give..."
• Verse 5 says "When you pray..."
• Verse 16 says "And when you fast..."

It's crucial you look at the wording of these statements and understand that these were not commands, they were expectations.  He wasn't telling us we "had" to do these things in order to be saved. He was just "expecting" that we would do these things because we are His followers.  He set the example of this in His ministry and His assumption is that if we were going to call ourselves "Christians" which means "Christ-like" then we would model our lives after Him.  Fasting is not something we HAVE to do, it is something we should WANT to do because we hunger for more of God in our lives.

Why Now? Why January?

This one is pretty simple but here's three reasons I think fasting and prayer is significant in January. By the way, I have dedicated times to prayer and fasting throughout the year. So understand it's not that this is the only time it's effective. That would be a rule and religion is full of rules.

1. It sets the course for the rest of your year. God does not want our leftovers. He wants to be first in every area of our lives. First in our day (devotions), our week (attending church), our finances (tithing). It just makes sense that we put Him first in our year by spending this time in Prayer & Fasting seeking His course, plan and desire for our lives.  Also, to lay out what you want to see God do in your family, home, and life in general.

2. Blessings will come throughout the year because you set your course straight at the beginning. This time isn't just about the 21 days in January, but it's about your whole year. How many times have you started something and said, "I don't know why I didn't do this sooner." Don't wait until July to seek God's direction and guidance. Do it now and start the year right.

3. It releases the principle talked about here:

Matthew 6:33 (NKJV)But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Remember the beginning of this chapter said; "when you give...when you pray...and when you fast" ?

Now it ends with Jesus saying we should worry about things and how we will make it in life but instead seek God first and all these other "things" that consume us will be added to our lives as well. Don't set goals or seek random "things" in January, instead seek God first and everything else will come.

So here it is...Should I fast?

Again let me answer your question with a few questions of my own.

• Do you have a circumstance in your life that seems hopeless without God's intervention?
• Do you have a family member that seems too far from God to ever find their way?
• Do you have a need personally or in your family - physical, relational, financial, emotional?
• Do you feel lost and without direction in your life?
• Are you facing and impossibility?

Then yes...I encourage you to take part in a fast.

Fasting reveals dimensions of God that can never be seen by the casual worshipper. 

When you take steps to break away from the ordinary you will begin to see things about God you never knew existed. He will share secrets about Himself, His plans for you, His desires for you, things about yourself you never knew. 

To have what you've never had, you'll have to do what you've never done.

My mom is an amazing cook. Being the good Italian woman she is, one of her specialities was pasta. When she would make her homemade sauce, the good stuff made with love, it was reason to stop and savour ever morsel. I can literally remember the sound of the spoon going through the rigatoni and immediately the drool would start.  The whole house smelled like pasta nirvana.  But let's be honest, if she served the meal over and over and over and over and over and over again...day after day after day after day after day, there would come a point where I would think "ugh, pasta again."  I wonder if sometimes God looks at us attending church when it's convenient, singing when we like the songs, giving when it's affordable, praying when it's needed and thinks..."ugh, religion again."  What if God hungers for our attention but all we offer is the same old religious routines week in and week out. Sure, pasta would do the job of filling my stomach but it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying as something new and different. 

I remember starting to go to the gym a few years ago. I didn't know what to do so I just attacked the cardio machines. I started losing weight and feeling better. But it didn't take long until I plateaued and stopped losing weight and while I felt good still, I was getting bored and not really getting the results I was wanting. I talked to a friend of mine and he explained I needed to mix up my routine and do something different. I started lifting weights every other day and cardio other days. I immediately started seeing different results again. I got stronger and had a renewed desire to keep going. 

Fasting breaks us out of the religious routines and allows us to experience new things and see results that may not come otherwise.  Even Jesus explained to the disciples in Matthew 17:21 when answering why they could not cast out a particular demon, "this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting." It's a form of worship where you offer your body as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1). It humbles you and reminds you of your dependency on God.   Fasting replaces your hunger for food with a hunger for God. Hungry people are desperate people. When you hunger for God, He will do those things that seemed impossible. 

If you are in a rut or a routine and you feel like your normal worship just isn't cutting it anymore then I encourage you to take part in a fast. If your circumstance seems to big, take part in a fast. Whether it's for one day or several days. Whether it's a complete fast with no food or a partial fast where you give up certain foods. The details aren't important because that would be religion. I'm saying you are hungry for more of God so let that hunger drive you towards Him. Give Him something new and watch and see what happens this year.

I want more out of Christmas

Christmas is coming. That wonderful time of year when we celebrate treasured movie classics, family get togethers, and the miracle of gift giving. Oh yeah, and the birth of Jesus.  

I was raised in a great Christian home and it was made abundantly clear that Christmas was about Jesus not Santa. Now there are some pictures floating around out there with me sitting on the mall Santa's lap and I remember the year my VERY Italian grandfather came out dressed as the "Godfather Santa" complete with cotton balls in his mouth for added effect. So it's not that I was sheltered and preached to about the sins of Santa and the downfall of a society that doesn't recognize what this time of year is all about. I just mean to say I was raised to recognize that this is the time of year we celebrate the birth of our Saviour. I've passed that down to my kids. We do live in a culture now where we have to fight for the right to say "Merry Christmas," so more than ever I feel like we need to establish the importance of this season in our kids. But please understand this is not some rant against political correctness. And I'm not an advocate for tradition that keep so many locked in actions that prove to be nothing more than meaningless ceremony. No, this is more of a challenge that was issued to me by God that I've now issued to the church I pastor and thought I'd pass on to other people who struggle to keep our expectations in perspective. 

Isaiah 7:14 (NKJV)
¹⁴  Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel.

Acts 1:4-5 (NKJV)
⁴  And being assembled together with them, He commanded them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the Promise of the Father, "which," He said, "you have heard from Me; ⁵  for John truly baptized with water, but you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now."

John 14:1-3 (NKJV)
¹  "Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. ²  In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. ³  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.

What do these three verses have in common you might be asking. Each one holds a promise issued to believers. The first is a promise to the children of Israel that God was going to send a Saviour into the world. Their relationship with God was about to change. It was about to go from "God out there" to "God with us". He was going to be flesh and blood through the birth of Jesus. The second verse is Jesus speaking to His disciples telling them that after He leaves them, they are to wait for the "Promise of the Father" the Holy Spirit. This was the promise of "God in us". Finally, the third verse is Jesus telling them that He's leaving but He's going to return for those that believe in Him. This is the promise of "us with God".   Each one is meant to fill the believer with anticipation and expectation of things to come. 

My daughter Kyla recently had a birthday. She turned 6 years old. At this age, she still doesn't fully grasp the idea of a calendar or months or weeks or days. All she knew was that after mommy's birthday, her's was next. The next 3 weeks were filled with questions about whether or not it was her birthday when she woke up. She spent weeks planning the menu for her birthday dinner. Her trips to the store were focused on what gifts she wanted. She became consumed with anticipation for that day. She was expecting great things and she sucked us all into her world because she wanted everyone to be ready for the big event. 

What if we started to live our lives with that kind of anticipation and expecting God's promises in our lives?

Christmas is filled with anticipation...some good, some bad. If we are honest about it there is usually a mixture of excitement and dread for most people. It's exciting because we get to look forward to Christmas parties and spending time with family. Then there is that sense of dread as we realize we have to attend all these Christmas parties and spend time with family. Then there's the expense of Christmas. Who to buy for? What do you buy them? Will that person be offended if you don't get them something? We have to get everyone something.  It's no wonder that medical studies have proven that people who normally live very content lives can experience depression and a lack of fulfillment more during the holidays than at any other time of the year.

It's amazing that as we prepare to celebrate the birth of Jesus, the Prince of Peace, we experience such a lack of peace in our lives.

This is what's been on my heart for the last few years. So I've been praying about what I can do to refocus without losing the "wonder" of Christmas. I've had those chocolate Advent calendars before but just ate the chocolate without a second though. I guess that's where it started this year. My parents gave my kids Advent calendars a few weeks ago and I wanted to know once and for all what this "Advent" thing had to do with Christmas. I was raised in the Pentecostal church and it was never talked about. I've always chalked it up to a Catholic thing that just held roots in tradition and ceremony.  In fact it has been around a long time but it's roots actually have nothing to do with Christmas. Advent comes from a Latin word and it simply means "coming". It was first used to prepare people for "Epiphany", a time the church celebrated the visit of the wise men and in some traditions the baptism of Jesus. So people would take 40 days of prayer and fasting and they would baptize people into the faith. In the 6th century St. Gregory the Great was the first to associate this time of year with the "coming" or "advent" of Jesus'. But still it wasn't about His birth, it was about His second coming. Around the Middle Ages it became practice to use the time of Advent to remember the first coming of Jesus through the birth. The coming of the Holy Spirit to live in us and the second coming of Jesus at the rapture. "God with us", "God in us" and "us with God". Advent is meant to be a season of anticipation. The same way the Israelites were waiting for a Messiah to be born, we as believers today are waiting for our Saviour to come again. 

Now let me say this again. I'm not into tradition for traditions sake. Advent is totally a man made event with no observance of it in the bible at all. But as I started thinking about it the thought occurred to me that maybe this is the change I needed to refocus attention on God this year. To teach my family, not only about the birth of Jesus, but also the fact that He's promised to return. Because really what Christmas tells us should be more than just the fact that God gives good gifts. It's also a time when we see that God is faithful. When He makes a promise, He fulfills the promise. 

Christmas tells us that God's purpose and plan for our lives will prevail 

when we wait on Him with anticipated expectation. 

So here's what I'm doing this year and what I've challenged my church to do.  Sunday marked the beginning of Advent. I handed out those chocolate calendars to every kid in our church. Then I handed out a devotional book to every family or individual. I told the kids, the calendar is to remind you to tell your parents it's time to do the devotion. The devotion is meant to remind us every day that God fulfilled His promise of a Messiah. It's to remind us that God lives in us today as believers through the Holy Spirit. And all of that should create in us the expectation that He will fulfill the promise of Jesus returning for us. Last night I sat down with my kids and read the first day of a devotional the will lead us to Christmas Eve. We talked about Jesus, we talked about Christmas, we talked about Him coming again and we ate chocolate. 

I'm not saying this is for everyone. I'm not saying we as believers need to acknowledge Advent every year. Then it just becomes another meaningless tradition. I'm not even going to really talk about "Advent" anymore. What I'm saying is maybe it's a good way to build our anticipation up for something greater than Christmas parties, useless gifts and overeating. What if we started, right now, to live our lives with the anticipation that what God said is true and His promises will come to pass. This is what God is telling me this year.

God With Us - God In Us - Us With God

God wants to be close to us.

Merry Christmas!!

PS - If you are interested in starting an Advent Devotion with your family there are several to choose from in the reading plan section of the YouVersion Bible App or visit them online here.

What's it worth to you?

"I would give anything for that."

Have you ever made that statement before?  What were you talking about?  Was it really worth everything you had?  I mean come on...would you really give anything for an "ice cold coke" right now? Is everything you have really a fair exchange for "one more hour of sleep?"  Because if we tell the truth, these are some of the trivial things we long for when making that statement. I know it's just an expression but words are powerful. I was reading something this week and it made me think about the value that I put on certain things. 

In Psalm 119:72 it says "Your instructions are more valuable to me than millions in gold and silver." (NLT)

It made me stop and think for a minute. And here's what my thought process looked like:

I ask God for a direction in my life.

I mean, I try to stop and ask for God's direction in my life.

I know I need God's direction in my life.

God knows I want His direction in my life.

Doesn't He?

Honestly, I really do value God's instructions in my life but I don't know that I've ever vocalized it quite like that verse. There have been many times in my life that I have prayed and sought God's instructions and received them. But in an effort to be truthful here, I would have to say I'm not always diligent in seeking those instructions right away. So what does that say about the value I put on God's instructions?

I think when the situation or decision appears to be important we are diligent to seek God's instructions. Or maybe those times when the way doesn't seem logical we make the time to ask God what we should do first. But the bible (and at least my life) is overflowing with moments where people decided to make the decision on their own assuming they knew what God was going to say. After all, God's knows I want His instruction right? I don't actually have to wait for Him to show me anything, I can just move forward and assume if it works out then it must be God.

I can remember my first year of being a pastor. It was new to me. I had been in a traveling evangelistic ministry for several years but this was different. As an evangelist there is a saying that "you blow in, blow up and blow out." In other words, you come into a church, lead a really exciting crusade and get people really fired up and then you leave with everyone on that spiritual high. When I went on staff at a church it didn't take long to notice the difference. People were coming to me for prayer, advice, direction and leadership just like before but now I was staying around to see if what I said panned out or not. No longer was it about getting people excited and then leaving. It was about casting vision and then leading people to accomplish it. Suddenly I felt the weight to "equip the saints for the work of the ministry."  And I didn't know how to do it outside the context of what I had done before. In my previous ministry I could just tell people what to do and then leave. Now I had to show them "how" to accomplish the "what." I was lost. So I did the only thing I could think of at the time. I would get up every morning, go into the sanctuary and fall to my knees and cry out to God for instructions. I can remember kneeling at that altar and telling God I needed to know what to do. I would just repeat the words over and over again. "I don't know what to do, I need help." And that's what He did...He helped me. That first year of pastoring I don't think I made one decision without praying those words first. I was desperate.

That was seven years ago.

Something occurred to me the other day though and it came through a LEGO set of all things. My son Isaac is obsessed with LEGO right now. But it's not the same as when I was a kid and you bought a box of random LEGO pieces and then allowed creativity to take control. Now they come as sets depicting scenes from all his favorite movies. They come in large boxes with step by step instructions. They can take hours to assemble these works of art that move and shoot villains off their towers. Without fail Isaac and I (heavy emphasis on the "I") will work to assemble these puzzles only to see them destroyed by the younger siblings. Pieces go scattering across the floor and under the bed. Worse they fall into the bucket of other destroyed LEGO sets and pieces. And of course this happens just days after he has thrown away the instructions of how to build this project. He brings the broken pieces to me expecting me to rebuild the Avengers plane that is now in roughly 463 different pieces. Why does he throw away the instructions? Because it was already built. It was done. He was comfortable with the fact that He didn't need those instructions anymore.

Seven years after surviving my first year as a pastor I have found myself more comfortable. But "comfortable" is not always good. "Comfortable" can sometimes make you throw away the instructions that helped you put things together in the first place. I've watched so many people pursue God in an effort to put their lives together. Desperately seeking instruction for their lives. Only to watch those same people lose interest in the writer of the instructions because they feel "comfortable" that everything is now "put together." Soon, their lives look like Isaac's bucket of LEGO. Broken in pieces, scenes of a life lost because the instructions have been thrown away.  I think it happens to a lot of us. We get comfortable and we don't feel that same desperation for God that we once had.

I guess this verse was just an eye opener for me. One of those verses that makes you stop and ask yourself, "Do I really feel that way?"

When you need instruction, counsel, direction or whatever you want to call it, where do you turn? It's the not the counsel of others that was "more valuable...than millions in gold and silver." It was God's instructions. His words. What decision are you facing today? What circumstance do you find yourself in at this moment? What relationship is crumbling before you? What need has suddenly arose? What negative report did you just receive? What has you questioning your future? There is One that holds the instructions of what to do next.

James 1:5 (NKJV) If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Chasing Vultures

I played a lot of sports in my teen years. One of my favorites in high school was Rugby. I played for 3 years and went from not having a clue of what I was doing in the first game to growing a true appreciation for one of the toughest sports out there.  There were fifteen guys on the field for each team divided into forwards and backs.  The backs were the smaller, faster guys who scored most of the points. The backs were the bigger guys, who went in there and dug the ball out and got it to the backs so they could score.  I was a forward. The eight man to be exact.  If you have never watched a Rugby game, let me explain. It's sort of like football but it doesn't stop when someone gets tackled and we didn't wear any padding. There is one particular play called a scrum.  It's an opportunity for both teams to fight for possession of the ball.  You take the eight forwards on each team and they form a triangle. The bases of the triangle collide together and the ball is thrown at their feet.  The two sides push against each other while trying to corral the ball with their feet and push it to the back or "peak" of the triangle. At the peak of that triangle was me, number eight. My job was simple. Stop my team from being pushed backwards and protect the ball when it came out at my feet.  Once the ball came out, I would swing one leg to the side while still holding my team forward and one of my teammates would come in and grab the ball and throw it out to those speedy backs.  Sounds simple enough except there was one guy from the opposing team, called a scrum-half, that was allowed to come around the scrum and try to grab the ball before my teammate could get it.  That's why I had to protect it.

I remember one particular game where we were playing a team that had a really good scrum-half. He was quick, strong and had a reputation for having a short fuse.  My coach pulled me aside before the game, gave me the scouting report and told me this, "protect the ball....and make him mad."  So that's what I did. For the entire first half of the game whenever we would "scrum down" and that ball would come out at my feet I would protect it with everything I had.  That opposing player would come running around the side and try to reach around me but I would swing one leg back as hard as I could and hit him in the knees to stop him and hold him back until my player could pick up the ball.  After about 30 minutes of this, I was getting a knot in the back of my leg. I was getting tired. We were winning though.  Then it happened, he got mad. This scrum-half had been stopped all day and was getting frustrated. After one play where their team had the ball taken away from them, he took a swing at one of our players and was ejected from the game.

I don't tell you this story to relive the glory years of a high school athlete but because I was reading the bible this morning and was reminded of this snapshot in my life. Genesis 15:1-21 is a moment in the life of Abram. That's Abraham before the name change that is coming soon in his story.  He has been given a promise by God. He has been promised that his descendants will inherit this great mass of land and that his heirs will be too numerous to count. The only problem is that he's getting up there in years and he has yet to have a child. We all know Abraham as the "father of faith" talked about for generations but at this point in his journey, Abram was questioning the logic of what God was saying. As I read this passage today a couple of things jumped out at me. 

Abram was following God but still had some questions.  He had left home and journeyed to a land God directed him to but I don't think he was real sure why yet.  I know in my own life, I have felt God lead me in directions I didn't fully understand. I have found myself in a place I know has a purpose but I don't necessarily see the purpose.  To this day, I know God has promised and spoke things into my life that I don't feel like have come to pass yet.  I make an attempt to convince myself that they have so that I can feel fulfilled but eventually I realize that's not the fruition of the promise.  I get impatient at times. I question God at times. I go over the promises in my head to make sure I heard them right. I examine my life to see if I've missed it perhaps. But there it is, a promise that hasn't happened and me left trying to create scenarios in my head of how it could possibly come to pass.  This inevitably leads to frustration and some good old fashioned one on one talks with God. Every time, I walk away assured that the promise is real and God knows what He's doing in spite of my questioning.  This is where I found Abram today. In verse 1 God tells him, "Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great."  Sounds like a good thing right? Who wouldn't want God to tell them that?  Well this is Abram's response in verse 2, "O Sovereign Lord, what good are all your blessings when I don't even have a son?"  Abram's thinking is, what good is this great reward when I have no one to pass it down to?  God, you promised me a son. An heir. Someone to carry on my name and legacy.  Where is this promise?

God reassures Abram by having him walk outside and looking at the stars. He tells him, "Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That's how many descendants you will have."  Then verse nine tells us something important. 

Genesis 15:9 "And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith."

Why is this important? Because even though Abram was questioning God's timing, he was believing God's promise.  See I look at the promises in my life from time to time and question why they haven't come to pass but that doesn't mean I don't think they will.  I question when. I question if I missed the opportunity. I question if I have done something to delay God's provision. But I don't question the promise. I even question if the promise has already happened but not the way I thought it would.  I still believe the promise I received years ago is going to happen. 

God responds to Abram's faith and tells him the promise again but in verse 8 Abram can't help but ask a question I think we can all relate to; "O Sovereign Lord, how can I be sure that I will actually possess it?"  God responds, because He always does.  He tells Abram to gather up some animals. So he does and he presents each one to God, kills them and lays them on the ground.  Then this random verse pops up which is really what sparked my thoughts today.

Genesis 15:11 "Some vultures swooped down to eat the carcasses, but Abram chased them away."  

Then the story continues.  There doesn't seem to be a significance except for the fact that it's there. It's in the bible.  I have to admit, I got stuck on that verse.  I searched study notes...nothing. I read and re-read the story looking for the tie-in...nothing. I finished the story and God gives Abram an insight into the future of his descendants. The slavery in Egypt. The Exodus and the great return to this land that God was promising. To seal the covenant He was making God waited for the sun to go down and Abram saw a smoking fire pot and flaming torch pass between the carcasses of the animals Abram had presented to God.  This symbolized God's holiness. He was illustrating the point that He is a Holy God and when He makes a promise you can depend on it.  

But what about those vultures?

After my sixth or seventh time reading this today I leaned back and just started praying and thinking. This is what came to me. God has made promises to me. Some of them have been fulfilled and some of them have not. I have faith that those that have not, will. But as I said, I question. Every time I question, God assures me and shows me how it's all tying together. This crazy, nonsensical life I live is actually headed somewhere. There  are sacrifices I've had to make. Things that I've had to lay before the Lord as directed that are to help me get to the promise. And as I thought about these crazy vultures, I realized how many times I've picked things back up that I've laid down.  I thought about all those times I prayed about the promises God had made me and in response to my questioning He impressed upon me to take a new step in my life. It's a preparation process to get me to the promise. Abram didn't become Abraham immediately. He didn't become the "father of many nations" over night. It was a process. God asked Abram to lay down some animals so that He could give him a sign of the promise He had made. Vultures came and tried to steal those animals before God could give the sign.

Epiphany

How many times in my life have I allowed the things God has asked for to be taken from Him? God has asked for time spent with Him and I allow "vultures" to steal it. God has asked for sacrificial giving and I allow "vultures" to steal it. God has asked me to pursue specific things that would push me toward the promise and I allow "vultures" to steal my ambition and determination.  I realize today, I put my body on the line to protect a ball while playing rugby. I stood there and waited for that promised ball to roll out to my feet. I put my body between it and the "vulture" coming in to steal it. I've got two weak knees, a bad shoulder and some memories to show for it.  But what God promises is worth so much more. Why am I not chasing the "vultures" in my life?  God's promises are real, I know that. What God has promised you is real. You know that. Start laying out the sacrifice in front of Him. Start giving Him what He's asking for and don't let anyone or anything take it back. 

Start Chasing Vultures.

Shadows and Light

When I was growing up, my grandparents had this amazing house in the suburbs of Toronto, Canada.  When I say it was a mansion, I'm not exaggerating. I had a friend come and stay with me there one time and they kept worrying they were going to get lost on the way back from the kitchen.  My favorite area of the house was the top floor. An entire level dedicated to their love of growing plants.  It was 360 degrees of windows that gave a breath-taking view of the surrounding area.  The house sat on a hill and on a clear day you could see downtown Toronto miles away.  I used to love sitting up there with my cousins and watching storms blow through. You could see the lighting strikes all around you from the safety of this glass room.  My next favorite feature was an incredible spiral staircase that ran from the top to the basement.  The crowning feature was a marble fountain at the bottom of the stairs.  We used to drop pennies from the top floor down to the bottom and try not to hit the copper spouts so Grandma wouldn't find us.  Not all the memories are great though.  There were some times that I was downright freaked out in that house.  There was the time two of my cousins and I stayed home from some event while the rest of the family went out.  I was sick upstairs in one of the bedrooms at the end of at a long hallway. My cousins apparently didn't know I was there, because all of a sudden I hear them systematically throwing doors open and yelling in each room coming down the hallway. They finally made it to my room and jumped into the room holding pool cues and screaming hysterically at the would be intruder.  I'm pretty sure they were more scared than any robber they could have found would have been.

But my worst memory of this great house came in the form of a picture. I know, weird. My mom had five sisters so when everyone came together for Christmas you crashed where you could find empty space. When I was little, that meant the floor in my parent's room.  That particular room was downstairs at the far end away from everything and everyone else. It was Aunt Doreen's room. That was my mom's sister who was still living at home when the house was built. But year after year I would find myself on the floor of this room. It had large sliding glass doors that led out to the pool in the backyard and on nights with a full moon the light would stream in through those doors.  As that light would come through the curtains it would cast shadows on the wall and on particularly on this one picture frame. For some reason I could never remember to look at this picture with the lights on so I could remember the image. Instead, the lights would go out and the moon would shine in and the shadows would turn that picture into the scariest thing this 5-7 year old boy had ever seen.  I would lay awake at night in the quiet of that room staring at what seemed to be some dark and shadowy figure laughing at me from up on the wall. Year's later as a teenager I would actually move into that house for a short time to live. It was during that season of my life that I finally got up the nerve to go in that room and look at that picture that had haunted me for all those years.

It was a picture of two flowers. That was what had scared me for years. Two flowers.

The thought of that picture and the laughing shadow monsters came back to my memory a little while ago when I was reading a very familiar passage of scripture.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. (Psalms 23:4)

I read these verses that I've read a hundred times in my life and a thought hit me.  How many times do we feel like we are going through "the valley of the shadow of death"? I know even recently for me I have felt that way. It just seemed like everywhere I looked I saw problems. Big problems, small problems. They were everywhere. I fell into funk. I mean a deep, dark, shadowy funk. One might go as far as to say I became depressed. That kind of feeling where you don't want to be around people. See the problem with being a pastor is that when you are around people they want to talk and because you are a pastor, they usually want to talk about their problems. I had enough problems of my own. I didn't want to hear about anyone else's problems. People wanted to talk about their lives and what they should do to be closer to God. What did God want them to do in ministry? How should they get more involved at the church? And to be honest, I couldn't answer any of those questions for myself. How was I supposed to answer them for someone else? I felt like I was in the "valley of the shadow of death." I felt dead inside. I felt dead spiritually. I felt dead emotionally. I felt dead physically. I just felt dead.

I tried to pray but couldn't get the words to come out right. I tried to read the bible but the words just ran together. God was there. I knew that because I was still operating in ministry. I would beg and plead with God whenever I had to teach a bible study or preach a sermon. When someone finally cornered me to ask a question, I would go into inner prayer mode and beg God to give me something to say. Not because I didn't want to look like an idiot but because I knew people needed to hear something from God. I've been around ministry my whole life and I know that I don't have anything intelligent to say on my own. I know people don't need to hear from me, they need to hear from God. So I would hit my inner knees and petition the throne of God for mercy and grace for this poor soul who ended up coming to me. People would comment later on how what I said was exactly what they needed to hear and breathe a sigh of relief that God had bailed me out. It was frustrating because I felt like God was giving me answers for other people but I still couldn't get answers for my own life. I found myself wanting to quit ministry because I didn't feel like I had anything to offer. I became afraid to speak up in meetings. When my pastor would ask for advice I was very non-committal in my answers because my confidence was gone. It was hiding somewhere in the shadows. I tried desperately to hide in background. In the dark corners of the room, hoping no one would call on me. But that just made things worse. I was at war with myself. I've never been able to do anything well that I'm not passionate about and I'd lost my passion somewhere in the shadow.  I felt stuck in ministry. I didn't want to be doing what I was doing but I didn't see a way out. God wasn't opening doors and I suddenly felt claustrophobic in my responsibilities. I lost my ability to communicate well. I lost my creativity. I lost my patience. I was losing it altogether.

I knew God was there but I was seriously losing sight of Him.  I just couldn't see Him in anything that was happening around me.  I would try committing to more time with Him. More bible reading. More prayer. I would even attempt fasting in the hopes it would force God to show up out of some sense of obligation to my efforts.  These were all things that worked in the past but they all seemed to fall short somehow. I was stuck in the valley. The shadows were growing darker. I was growing tired. Scared. Lonely. Desperate.

I ended up at a conference in Dallas, TX. The hotel we were staying at had an outdoor pool on the roof of the fourth floor. I had brought my wife and kids with me and of course the kids wanted to spend every spare moment in the pool. The hotel we were staying in was surrounded by other tall hotels and office building all around us.  The buildings cast shadows on the deck of the pool and catching a glimpse of the sun came as a rarity. While I was sitting out there watching the kids play in the water, people would come and go in the sitting area. The water was surrounded by these great lounge chairs and many people came to just hang out and talk. At one point two young women came and took up residence on a couple of chairs in the same row as mine. They sat and talked, laughing and enjoying the time together.  The entire deck was covered in shadows, even though it was quite warm on this July day in Texas. Suddenly, the sun moved round the corner of the building and for the first time since I had been on that rooftop there was light.  The shadows from the building were split in two and the sun was shining on the other side of the water. As soon as the brightness washed across those lounge chairs, the two young ladies who had been perfectly content to sit in the shade and relax got up. They gathered their towels, their phones and drinks and moved toward the sunlight. They had been okay with being in the shadows until they saw the light. It was the sun that compelled them to move. It was the expectation of warmth, of greater comfort.
It was in that moment I felt God speak to me. This was the revelation that came.

He's there.

He's in the shadows.

I looked up to the sky and saw clouds moving across the sun. I looked back down at the water my son was splashing around in and saw the light reflect off the waves. The reflection would come and go as the clouds moved across the sun. First brightness, then shadows. But as I watched the sky I realized something. No matter how dark the shadows were on the ground, I could always see the light on the other side of the clouds. In fact, a simple yet life-altering truth occurred to me in that moment. There can be no shadows without light. You know what the definition of a shadow is according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary?

Shadow: a dark shape that appears on a surface when someone or something moves between the surface and a source of light

 Shadows only exist because the light is there. Throughout my life and in very recent times I have found myself lost in what I felt was a valley surrounded by "shadows of death."  But in that pool side moment God made Himself clear to me.  The same way clouds and buildings block out the sun and cause its warmth to disappear momentarily, there are people and things that appear in our lives and would try to keep us from the warmth of God's love. They can try to block the light from showing us the path to follow when making decisions. The shadows can cause us to lose hope, to feel alone, to grow cold. Sometimes the scariest shadows are caused by things we do in our own lives that keep the pure light from shining in. Instead that light is filtered and dim like the sun through a curtain creating monsters out of flowers.

What was revealed to me that day was this. God is always there. Even when problems and people try to block Him out, He's there illuminating in His Glory. It's funny how even on the darkest stormiest days now, I realize that above those clouds, the sun still shines or I wouldn't be able to see anything. Sure it may be darker than normal, but I know the sun is still there. I can see it through the dark clouds. God is there. Even on my dark days. Even when there doesn't seem to be an answer. Even when it seems everything around me is closing in, I've learned to look up. To look through the shadows.  I'm not saying it's easy but I can say it's easier. Every time I see a shadow or dark cloud now I smile. I smile because I know the sun is still up there or the shadow wouldn't exist. When problems come and they still come, I'm learning to smile more because I know the Son is still there. There is still light. He is still lighting my path. I'm focusing more on a different part of the that verse now.

Yea, though I walk THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear NO evil;
FOR YOU ARE WITH ME;
Your rod and Your staff, they COMFORT me. (Psalms 23:4)

The shadow monsters on the walls turn out to be flowers once you let the light in.

Fire Fall Down

For those of you who don't know, Fire Fall Down are lyrics to one of my favorite songs.  Hopefully, I didn't just break some copyright law by naming my post that.  To warn you, this post is kind of raw and I've not really dwelt on it a whole bunch. I'm more "shooting from the hip" as they say, but hopefully it will resonate with someone.

Yesterday I was reading 1 Chronicles 21 where David has committed the sin of numbering the people. God moves swiftly in his judgment and discipline of David.  Soon David is instructed to build and altar to the Lord on the threshing floor of Ornan (how's that for a name). When David approaches Ornan, the man is very quick to offer everything he has to David free of charge. David replies back to him that he cannot offer something to God that didn't cost him anything.  He buys everything from Ornan so that  he can build the altar and give the wheat offering.  This is usually where I stop in the story.  I've always loved the words of David here in vs. 24.  "I will surly buy it for the full price, for I will not take what is yours for the Lord, nor offer burnt offerings with that which costs me nothing."  I

It's like when I told my son one time that if he didn't listen and obey what I said, he was going to lose his Wii privileges.  His response was, "but I can still play my DS right?"  He was okay with the terms of the agreement because, in his mind, he wasn't really going to be sacrificing anything. Needless to say, he lost the Wii, and the DS right then and there.  Daddy don't play that game.

But how often are we willing to give God certain areas of our lives that aren't really a sacrifice to us.  That would be like me falling down at the altar and telling God that I will never drink again.  I've never drank before, I don't plan on taking it up, so it's not really that big of a sacrifice. It wouldn't really cost me anything to give it up.  David recognized the fact that he had sinned and to make this right, it was going to cost him something. 

I said earlier that this is where I usually stop in the story but I continued on yesterday.  This is what I saw.  David offered the sacrifice on the altar. God responded with FIRE FROM HEAVEN.  The thought grabbed me, when we offer something to God that doesn't cost us anything, why would He want to accept that.  God sending down the fire was the sign to David that the sacrifice was acceptable. That song we sing suddenly burst into my head:

Fire fall down
Fire fall down
On us we pray
As we seek
Fire fall down
Your fire fall down
On us we pray

We pray for God's fire, but what are we offering?  Is it worthy of God's fire? David offered this sacrifice out of a heart that was pleading for God's favor to end the plague that he had brought on the people of Israel.  It made me think of what am I seeking God for and in return offering nothing. At least nothing that is of real cost or sacrifice to me. God's fire is a Holy response from a Holy God. I can't expect to do nothing and God respond. I can't expect to give a little and God to pour out all of His great power.  I've got to ask the questions: "Am I really seeking Him, His favor, and His love?" Or. Do I just want Him to show up when I ask Him to with no questions asked? 

I don't know, it challenged me.  God looks at your heart. He knows if you are sincerly seeking after Him.  That Fire isn't just going to fall, it's going to cost you.  But not what you think maybe.  I believe He looked at David's heart and saw a man that was desperate to be right with God. A man the was in pursuit of Him. What does He see when He looks at your heart?

Cloudy with a chance of Jesus

I'm currently serving as Campus Pastor for a new campus plant in White House, TN which is located about an hour and a half from my house.  The Sunday morning service starts at 10:00am, which means I leave my house each week at 6:30am.  (By the way, a greater testimony of my love for Jesus could not be shown. To say I'm not a morning person is an understatement.) My wife, Joy, recently gave birth to the newest edition of our family.  A perfect little boy named Judah.  So for the last few weeks I've been making the drive each weekend with just me and my other two children.  It's the beginning of January as I write this, so as you know it's still quite dark at 6:30am.  A couple of weeks ago Issac and I were driving to White House. I had woken him up and dragged him off the top bunk of his bed. After pushing him around the house to get him clean, dressed and somewhat presentable, we were on the road.  As we were traveling he started to wake a little more, which for Isaac means he's about to start talking...and he's not going to stop.  I actually really enjoy these little drives with him because it has created a lot of great opportunities to teach him about the things of God. Sometimes it's the lyrics of a song, sometimes it's something he heard at church or something someone said.  Inevitably though, I know I'm going to get questioned about something.  This particular day he looks out the window and asked why I woke him up in the middle of the night. (It was just before dawn when we left the house.) I explained it wasn't the middle of the night but that the sun was about to come up.  We drove for a few minutes and as it began to brighten outside of his window, I saw him look out the front past me. "Where's the sun?" he asked. It was overcast that day and was probably going to rain later so I told him; "it's there, you just can't see it."  This sparked a long discussion about the sun and the clouds. I assured him the sun was there even though it seemed hidden.  I told him how we wouldn't be able to see anything if the sun wasn't there.  It may be cloudy, and cold but the sun was still there.  He got quiet after that and all of a sudden he shouts, "there it is." He point out the passenger side window at a beam of light cutting through the clouds. I'm not completely sure, but I think he didn't believe me until he saw the sun for himself.  But then, he always thinks he knows more than me.  He is almost 8 after all.

I started thinking that day about what we were talking about and honestly hadn't given it much thought until today.  I was reading the story of Noah and I doubled back on the story because I wanted to make sure I was remembering right.  I've always been amazed by the story of Noah.  Read Genesis chapter 6 sometime.  God asks Noah to build a ridiculously huge boat, in the middle of dry land. He tells him a flood is coming...there's never been a flood before. He says everyone will be destroyed.  Imagine this!  There is no context for what God is telling Moses.  When we read a news article, or even watch movies and television our brain is affected by the idea of context.  Because we have seen or heard things before, it allows us to relate to what we are seeing, hearing or reading better.  For example, if I'm reading a story about being at a baseball game and they describe the crack of the bat, my mind immediately comprehends what is being said. I get transported there.  Noah had never seen a flood. It had never even rained before. Now God is describing a flood.  What is going through his mind?  But the last verse of that chapter simply says; "Thus Noah did; according to all that God commanded him, so he did."  It amazes me!

But now fast forward a little. Noah built the ark. He's got this monstrous boat sitting in his front yard. God speaks again and says a bunch of animals are on their way. Put them in the boat because in seven days the flood is coming.  So Noah does it.  Then, sure enough, it starts to rain. And it rains. And rains. And rains.  This is that part that I went back to read.  There was a window.  Why is that important?  Can you imagine being inside that boat listening to it rain and suddenly feel it go from sitting on dry ground to all of a sudden floating?  Imagine this family huddled together in safety but probably still a little in awe of what was happening. Wouldn't you be tempted to look out the window? To try to catch a glimpse of what was happening.  What would they have seen? Would they have seen homes being destroyed? People drowning as the last piece of dry land gets swallowed by the waters? What about the feeling of looking out the window and seeing nothing but water?  There is nothing we have ever experienced that can put that into context for us. 

As I read it today though I thought of the conversation between me and Isaac.  Is the sun still there even when you can't see it, or feel it's warmth?  When the clouds are blocking you from seeing the source of the light, is there still light?  The answer of course is "YES".  But how often do we feel lost and alone because we can't "see" God? Have you ever faced a tragedy and struggled to find meaning, or purpose or even to find peace and comfort? I'm sure we all have.  We've probably all had something happen in our lives that we had no context for. We had never been through it. For some of you it may be happening right now.  You feel like you are spinning trying to find direction. You are looking out the "window" and all you see is tragedy, hopelessness, and darkness.  I'm telling you, God is still there.  Even in the midst of darkness, Jesus is that light that shines in the darkness. I know that sounds corny and I even deleted it and rewrote it...twice. Because it's true.  Isaac wanted to see the sun so that he knew it was there. I kept telling him, we wouldn't be able to see out the window if it wasn't there, just beyond the clouds.  Whatever you are going through right now you need to realize, it's not as dark as it seems.  God is there, He's never left you.  He might be harder to see because of the clouds, but He's still there. 

The bible provides context in our lives.  It's because of what we have seen God do in the past that we know He can do it for us as well.  Know this, God prepared Noah before tragedy struck.  He had him build the ark, he had him bring his family in to keep them safe.  He even had him bring the animals in because before it ever happened He had a plan on how they would rebuild.  Your problems may come as a surprise to you, but they are not for God.  He wants to work everyday of your life to prepare you for anything the devil may throw at you.  That way, when the wind blows, the rain falls, and the sky looks dark you can look out the window and know that even though you can't see that Son, He's still there.